Hair, there and everywhere
Mood:  down
Now Playing: Grateful Dead

After a month in the South, I've seen some things. Things that I could not make up.

1. A woman in curlers at 4 p.m. driving a pickup truck recklessly.

2. A child with an honest-to-goodness mullet.

3. Grocery stores with entire aisles devoted to hair spray.

4. Three roads named after televangelist extraordinaire Billy Graham.

5. Fried chicken advertised as a snack.

6. A party with so many empty fifths of Southern Comfort, you could teach an entire classroom of mulleted children their fractions.

7. A stripper leaving work at 7:30 a.m. Actually, she looked a lot like anyone would after a long night of work. Except with more makeup.

8. Kids with a ferret on a leash.

9. A Blockbuster employee with the nerve to critique my movies before ringing them up. As if her caveats: "This one is *not* that great" (The Family Stone) and "This one is too drawn out" (The Weather Man) was going to send me back to the shelves. What next? The Subway sandwich artist recommending a package of Oscar Meyer bologna and a loaf of Wonder Bread instead?

10. Duke playing Wake Forest. In football. Or, as I like to call it, the lousiest way to spend a Saturday afternoon. Stick to basketball, fellas. Honestly.